


It Ain't You

by twdsunshine



Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Domestic Violence, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-02
Updated: 2018-04-02
Packaged: 2019-04-17 14:02:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,420
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14190558
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/twdsunshine/pseuds/twdsunshine
Summary: The first things Daryl Dixon notices about the reader are her haunted eyes and the way she flinches whenever anyone comes close.  He recognises so much in her, and knows he has to reach out to her to show her there’s a better life if she can just break away from her abusive parents.





	It Ain't You

**Author's Note:**

> This was an anonymous request that was sent in on Tumblr a while back, that I’ve been really nervous about writing because it specifically said that it was personal. I really hope that I’ve done it justice for the requester and that it’s what they had in mind. 
> 
> ‘A reader who has an abusive family like Daryl had but she sticks with them during the apocalypses like Daryl did with Merle, but after some time she decides she wants to try to break her relationship with them. Maybe they are in the same group that Daryl and the others and Daryl and her could talk about their shit families and he’d help her to finally step away from them?’

Daryl watched the girl as she sat by the banks of the lake, the delicate muscles in her arms flexing as she scrubbed at a stain on the top she was washing, her brow furrowed in concentration as she worked.  He’d found himself watching her more and more over the past week or so, drawn to something familiar in her expression.  He supposed he hadn’t noticed it before, too caught up with Merle, hardly ever in camp as they took off into the woods to hunt, but since his brother had disappeared, he hadn’t been able to ignore the haunted look in her eyes, the way she talked over her shoulder at people, never looking them in the face, flinching if they got too close.  She reminded him so much of himself that it caused an uncomfortable ache in his chest, and when he’d first seen the bruises that marred her skin, he’d been ready to let loose and put an arrow through her daddy’s skull, her mama’s too if she’d been aware of what was happening.  And how could she not be aware?  For some reason, the girl still stayed in a tent with her folks, still stuck with them, even though the world falling to shit should have given her every excuse to up and leave, to find her freedom and leave the abusive fucks behind.  

The need to intervene, to do something to protect her was overwhelming, and when he sensed that she was done with her task and getting ready to head back up to camp, he levered himself to his feet and ambled over to her, making sure to cough to announce his presence so as not to startle her.  She was hella skittish, and he knew what it was like to always be expecting the next blow.

As he reached her side, she looked up at him, her doe eyes wide with shock, unused to anybody else in the group making the effort to speak with her after her daddy had scared them off on their first few attempts.

‘Oh, h-hi,’ she mumbled nervously, ducking her head to hide behind her hair, her cheeks reddening under his gaze.  'Sorry, did you need me to do something for you?’

'Nah,’ he rasped, shaking his head and chewing on his lip, unsure how to proceed with her so nervous just from being close to him.  He could relate to that too, knew how hard it was to accept offers of help when you didn’t want to admit to yourself what was actually happening.  'I jus’ wanted to say hi, 'n’ that… I kinda had a dad that was a dick too, 'fore all this end o’ the world shit went down.’

He watched as her mouth opened and closed a couple of times as her brain tried to control her reaction, whether to play it defensive or dumb or just let the truth come out.  He could practically hear her internal debate as if it was happening in his own head, which it had done many times before.

'You did?’ she replied finally, curiosity peaked but careful not to give anything away.

'Uh huh, yeah.'  He could see that he’d sparked her interest by the slight glimmer of hope that flickered across her face, but knew better than to try and have this conversation out in the open in the middle of the day, especially if she wasn’t totally ready to hear what he had to say.  'How 'bout ya come talk to me sometime, when yer ready?  I reckon we’ve got a lot in common, you 'n’ me.’

'Oh, I don’t-’

'Trust me,’ he insisted, his voice a deep growl as he shut her down before she could get her protestations out.  He already knew what was coming.   _I’m fine.  Everything’s okay.  Really, all good here._   The amount of times those lies had fallen from his lips…  'Jus’ know that someone’s watchin’ out for ya, okay?’

Then he’d spun on his heel and walked away, leaving her to process what he’d told her.  He was sure there was probably a better way that he could have gone about it, but he wasn’t good with words, always believing that it was better to get straight to the point than start with painfully dull small talk in the hopes that you could eventually steer the conversation in the direction that you wanted it to go.  He’d made his offer, done his best to reach out.  Now it was up to her.

 

* * *

 

The archer’s offer played on a loop in your head throughout the days following your conversation by the lake, and most of the nights too.  A part of you felt completely mortified that he’d figured out what was going on, sure that if he knew then everyone else must do too, but another bigger part of you was curious.  Daryl always seemed so strong, so capable.  Was it really possible that he might know something about what it was that you were going through?  Even if it turned out that you didn’t have as much in common as he claimed, the idea that someone like him was watching out for you reassured you somehow, made you feel a little safer, like you had a warrior on your side, shielding you from harm even as your father’s fingers bit into the sensitive skin of your forearm, bruising you as he pulled you towards him so he snarl in your face, the stench of liquor overwhelmingly strong on his breath.

It had never occurred to you that you could leave your parents, make your own way in the world, especially when the dead had started walking.  Your fear of being alone had been far deeper than your fear of your daddy, so you’d just meekly followed them when they’d packed up their things and taken to the road, seeking a sanctuary in the hell that the world had become.  Instead, they’d found the quarry camp, with Shane and Dale and Daryl and the others, and had settled here, though they’d never really bonded with their new comrades, keeping them at arm’s length.

'They ain’t family,’ her daddy would mutter, shooting dark glances at the others as they went about their daily routines.  'Ain’t having them up in my business.’

You’d always struggled to keep the smirk from your face when he said that.  The only business he’d ever had was the business of pouring as much liquor down his throat as possible and transforming into a violent, raging monster.  Of course, he wouldn’t want anybody sticking their noses in to that nasty habit.

It had suited you at first, the desire to keep them all at a distance, ashamed of the way you allowed yourself to be victimised, but Daryl’s offer had sparked a need in you to break out of this pattern, to free yourself from this harsh cycle that you’d become trapped in.  If what he said was true, he’d obviously managed it, and maybe with his help you could too.

A week after he’d first spoken to you, you found Daryl sitting on the hood of his truck a short distance away from the camp’s sleeping area, a lit cigarette clamped between his lips as he kept watch over the group.  Your daddy had finished off the best part of a bottle of liquor earlier in the evening, and your mom was a pretty heavy sleeper, so you’d managed to sneak out of the tent with relative ease, pausing to slip a hoody over your shoulders, more to hide the fresh marks than to fend off the cold.  The archer didn’t speak as you approached, hoisting yourself up to perch beside him, pulling your hood up to hide behind as you tried to figure out what it was that you wanted to say.

'Y'alright?'  Daryl broke the silence, twisting his smoke between his fingers as he glanced over at you, averting his eyes again when he saw your efforts to keep your face hidden.

'I-'  You opened your mouth to deliver your default reply, but caught yourself before the words fell from your lips.  You’d made it this far, but it would be for no reason if you weren’t honest now.  'I don’t think so, no.’

Silence fell as Daryl nodded slowly, waiting for you to continue, but you couldn’t force the confession up your throat.

'He hurt ya?'  You could feel his eyes on you and let your head bob once, unable to look at him and risk seeing the judgement or, worse, pity on his face.  'My dad used t’ hurt me.’

'I can’t imagine anyone hurting you,’ you murmured, keeping your voice low in the quiet of the night.  'You’re so strong.’

'Ain’t always been.'  Sensing your hesitance, he stubbed his cigarette out on the cool metal of the hood and put it to one side, reaching for the buttons on his shirt.

'What are you doing?’

He didn’t answer, just continued to undress, removing first his shirt, then the vest he wore underneath and turning so his back faced you, tensing himself in preparation for the gasp of horror that fell from your lips.  The skin across his spine was scarred with thick lines that crisscrossed in a hideous pattern, and you reached out your fingers to ghost over the marks, cringing as he instinctively flinched away from your touch.

'I didn’t know.’

'I did,’ he admitted.  'First time I saw ya, or the first time I paid attention at least.  Could see it written all over yer face.’

'I…'  You tailed off, finding yourself speechless as he shrugged his shirt back on, leaving it unbuttoned as he resumed his position next to you.

'How long?’ he asked, casting you a sideways glance to gauge your reaction to the intrusive question, but you were finding it easier now that you knew he genuinely shared your secret.

'Long as I can remember. Daddy… Well, he likes a drink.’

'So did mine.  Made him real nasty.’

'Yeah.’

'Wasn’t so bad when Merle was around.  Least then we’d share the brunt of it.  Course, he left as soon as he had somewhere else to go, 'n’ then it was all on me.’

'I’m an only child,’ you told him, and he nodded in understanding.

'Ya never thought to take off?  I mean, how old are ya?  Ya coulda gone to college, given yourself a break.’

'They told me I was too dumb to get in.’

He scoffed, shaking his head.  'What about a job then?  Coulda saved up, got a place of yer own.’

'I had a job, but they said they couldn’t afford to live without my earnings.’

'Funny how they managed the whole time ya was in school, ain’t it?'  He was shaking his head, though the resigned look on his face told you that this was all bringing back memories for him.

'I guess I never thought about it.’

'Nah, that’s what they do to ya, see.  They get in yer head, make it so ya think it’s all yer fault or that ya can’t make it without 'em cos yer just that damn useless.’

Every word he spoke hit its mark and you felt his harsh truths deep in your chest.  He knew, he really did.  He understood.

'I don’t think I can do it anymore, Daryl.  I’m so scared all the time, of the walkers and trying to survive in this world, and I can’t keep going back to my tent every night and being scared in there too.  I’m so tired.’

'Ya look it.’

'I just need a break, I can’t… I can’t…’

You couldn’t finish your sentence as choking sobs racked your body, and you bent forward to bury your face in your knees, your hands clenched into fists at your sides.  To your relief, Daryl didn’t reach out to touch you, didn’t try to comfort you, he just sat quietly and let you cry until your breath was coming in heaving gasps and your face was blotchy and swollen.

'Ya don’t have to put up with it no more if ya don’t want to.’

'But they’re my family, Daryl.’

'An’ they ain’t never treated you like it for one day of yer life.  Ya don’t owe ‘em nothin’.’

'He’ll kill me.’

'I won’t let 'im.’

You nodded slowly, your brain fighting to process the possibilities that he was offering you.

'Look, ya don’t gotta decide right now,’ Daryl reassured you.  'Ya just gotta know that… life gets a damn sight better once ya get rid of the people that treat ya like shit.  Yer worth so much more than that.’

'Mum’s always said it’s my fault,’ you whispered, struggling with the confession, though Daryl’s face remained unmoved.  'She said he wasn’t like this before I came along.’

'Bullshit,’ he spat, and you saw that the tips of his ears had reddened as he fought to keep his temper.  'It ain’t you.  Y'ain’t the problem here 'n’ ya never have been.  Don’t let 'em put that burden on ya.’

You nodded, though you struggled to believe him.

'Ya said this started when ya was just a kid?  Kids are all the damn same.  Look at Carl.  Look at lil’ Sophia.  D'ya think they’ve ever done anythin’ that would drive an ol’ man t’ treat 'em like that?’

You shook your head, feeling a slight lessening of the weight that you carried with you at all times.

'Look, s'like I said, ya don’t gotta do this now, but the sooner ya do, the better things’ll get for ya.  I’ll help ya if I can, 'n’ I promise, he won’t lay another hand on ya.  Ya just gotta say the word.’

You still weren’t sure that you were ready, but you felt that you might be some day soon with his support.  Knowing that Daryl had been through something similar and still ended up being so brave had inspired you, and his kindness even more so.  So, you didn’t say the word as you slipped off the truck to head back to your tent and replay the entire conversation in your head, knowing it would eventually give you the strength you needed to free yourself from the abuse that had become your way of life.  Instead, you turned to him in the darkness and breathed, 'Thank you.’

You had a feeling that Daryl Dixon had just changed your whole world and that you might just owe him your life.


End file.
